3 Steps To A Healthier Relationship With Money

I grew up in a family where money was always lacking. There was never quite enough of it and it needed to be tightly held onto. 

At least, that was the story. 

For the last few years, I've been working to rewrite this story. To nurture an easy, abundant relationship with money, where it is simply something that flows in and out of my life, enabling my dreams.

In February, I started following a new approach to 'managing' my money, adapted from Becoming Rich by Genevieve Davis. But getting rich isn't really the point here; being intentional and respectful with money is the point. 

I believe this approach is valuable for individuals, business owners and corporate leaders alike, because it shifts the focus from money as the end goal, to money as an agent of change. And that’s relevant whether you’re managing personal finances, a P&L, or reporting to shareholders.

So here it is, three steps to a more easeful relationship with money:

1) Set an intention.

What is it that you want your money / your profits to enable?

For me, I want a spacious and serene family home. I want to continually learn, and actively grow my business. I want constant adventures and experiences in my life. I want freedom.

NB: if you were applying this approach to a corporate P&L, your intentions might be aligned with business objectives (financial and non-financial). Remember, this is about what money ENABLES, as much the numbers on a spreadsheet at the end of the quarter.

2) Align your money with your intentions.

Every time I transfer salary or dividends from my business to my personal account, I allocate it to five different accounts.

  • 10% to ‘House & Home’

  • 10% to ‘Adventure & Growth’

  • 10% to ‘Financial Security’

  • 10% to ‘Charitable Giving’. This one is crucial. If you want to welcome money as something that endlessly flows, rather than something finite that has to be clung to, you have to let it flow out as well as in. Also, helping others (financially or otherwise) is just a good thing to do.

  • 60% stays in my current account for bills, credit card payments, general life expenses.

It doesn’t have to be these percentages. The actual percentages don’t really matter - whatever is affordable. The power is in aligning your financial actions with your intentions.

3) Pay attention to abundance.

There’s a saying (I don’t know where it originated) - “where attention goes, energy flows”. Our brain pays attention to that which we want. For example, if you want a Mini Cooper, you’ll probably start seeing them everywhere. And this same premise is why gratitude practices are so powerful - by paying attention to the things you are grateful for in life, your brain starts to notice more things to be grateful for. What we see is what we experience.

Try applying the same principle to money. See if you can pay attention to financial ABUNDANCE, rather than lack, and see what changes. Many of us are living through a hugely challenging and uncertain time, and this suggestion might feel frustrating or impossible. But give it a go. It could be anything, from really appreciating this month’s Clubcard / Nectar vouchers, to really acknowledging the unexpected extra project that’s just been signed off. Where attention goes, energy flows.

I’m a life & career coach, supporting people to trust themselves, make bolder decisions and inspire others. My coaching work combines psychology, neuroscience, spirituality and my corporate background. If you’re intrigued by anything in this article, drop me a note at hello@victoriasmithmurphy.com, and let’s talk.