When the World Gets Loud: A Live Lesson in Holding Boundaries

Sometimes, we notice personal growth more by the absence of something old, rather than the presence of something new.

Yesterday I ran a workshop on holding boundaries with a wonderful private equity group in London.

We ran the session in the main atrium of the building, and lots of other people in the organisation were coming and going, making coffee, catching up and doing conference calls.

It was undeniably distracting, and we did what we could to stay present and maintain a sense of containment in the workshop. 

We acknowledged the external noise, we adapted the exercises so participants wouldn’t feel exposed, and we reorganised ourselves in the physical space.

Ultimately, the universe gives us what we need (a favourite expression of mine 😂), and this felt like a live opportunity to practice staying connected to your own experience, when the world around you is chaotic and noisy.

But what really struck me was how I myself experienced and responded to the situation.

Five years ago, I’d have been SO agitated. My body would have been fired up and jittery. I’d have felt pissed off and judgemental. I’d have been telling myself a story about how disrespectful all those people were, and how no one was getting value from the workshop they were paying me to deliver. 

Honestly? I’d probably have asked people loudly to be quiet and go elsewhere.

Yesterday, there was none of that.I genuinely felt accepting of the environment AS IT WAS (although tbf I did ask for the music to be turned off. Progress, not perfection).

I could acknowledge that it was disruptive, and let it go.

My body felt calm and steady throughout, which also allowed me to stay connected to the group and sense what they needed moment by moment. I trusted that people would take from the experience what they wanted, and that it wasn’t my job to control and fix every single aspect. And I wasn’t shit-talking all the noisy people in my mind, which meant I didn’t get pulled into anger and indignation.

It felt like a significant moment. A realisation that I have (partly) moved beyond some of my most deeply-held behaviours patterns. And beyond those patterns, it became possible to stay calm, stay curious about what participants were experiencing, and enjoy the time with these beautiful humans.

If you want to explore what could become possible for you BEYOND your familiar behaviour pattern, you can learn more about my executive coaching partnerships here.